How do you tell someone....

How do you tell someone you love them? It's not only the words, but in the things you do, ~everything~ you do. This is proving to be a very difficult thing to do when the one you love is coming away from previous relationships where trust was a major issue, and faith was lacking. I for one will state for the record and put it out here for all to see, that at no time have I or will I have relations with another person while I have the one special person I have been searching for. This is not fair to him, and to be honest, it is not fair to me either.
For one thing, it is not fair to the other person that I would be so greedy as to want more than I deserve. It's not fair to him that I would be so selfish as to try and put my energy into someone else, because to me that means I am taking something away from him. It is not fair to him that I would chance everything we have built between us, as to go out and throw it all away for a few moments of pleasure. This is not me, and I will not do it, no matter how strong the temptation is. I cannot do this and still feel good about being with him, and it certainly is not a way to build trust.
On the flip side of things, it isn't fair to me either to do this to myself or him. I do not like taking chances with money, life, love, heart or soul. I have never been this way, and I am not about to start now. Why in the hell would I risk all we have been working for, working towards, fighting for, and guarding just to get my rocks off? I would have to be a totally heartless, self centered, narcissistic ass to go and take a chance like that right after having the greatest, most awesome night of my life in SL ! It would be senseless and selfish of me, and tantamount to pushing aside his devotion, love, and heart, as if it were dirt under my nails. What an awful thing to do to someone you say you love. To bid good night to my lover, then run off and jeopardize the bond by running to the bed of someone else, would be the cruelest, most heartless and selfish act I could ever think of. This did not happen nor will I ever do this. This is not my way, and the day I do this, is the day I need to stick a gun between my lips and kiss the lead.
To be quite frank, I am insulted that someone would think I could do this. After enjoying what I consider a special moment, and doing what is considered the most ultimate act of love, I am not willing to see it vaporize before my eyes, just because someone else has done it. I am not going to throw away something so special to me, as to do the nasty behind my man's back. And what in their mind would cause them to think or fathom I would do such a thing to them? One word comes to mind.... pain.
When someone has been hurt, it takes a piece of you away that is yearning to be replaced, and we search for that until the void is filled, this is human nature. I cannot, and do not blame him for feeling this way, it is not his fault, make no mistake about it, I will do everything within my powers to replace what is missing within him. For this is my goal, and my challenge. My goal is to see a him whole again, to give him what he desires and so deservedly needs. It is my goal to see him smile and laugh and enjoy himself and his life again. For it is my challenge to show him how much his love means to me, and I will stop at nothing to do this no matter what it takes.
I will be honest, for the past 6 weeks I have been building a strong bond with someone who I see as the one I will be with as long as he is willing to have me by his side. As long as this person loves me and feels we are still growing, because that is what you do when you are in a relationship, you grow everyday. As long as I can show my man what he means to me, and he sees it, feels it, learns it and understands it, I will be forever by his side. I am proud to say yes! I love him, and he loves me. There is no other feeling in the world as to feel loved, and for many of my friends, you all know how hard my life has been. This is NOT a game to me, and I will not throw away what I have been searching for, for so so long, this is a risk I am not willing to take. I have found you, and you have found me, now we need to take this road, and try to stay on track without distractions of others, or finger pointing from outside persons. Yes you are my lover now, you are now a part of me, and I shall treat us as one, you are to me an extension of myself. Baby, I love you, and now it is up to us to prove to each other just how much we love each other. The time is now, and I need you to know I started my clock well over 2 months ago...


The day you stop growing, is the day your life is over.
Don't give away the things you have gained, unless you are willing to go away empty handed.
Don't put yourself in the spotlight, unless you are ready to sing your ass off.