Emotional Rescue

What to say.
What do you say when there is so much to say? You wonder, is it worth it, are my words being read, comprehended recognized or ignored. Either way it only matter to those who chose to pay attention. I've been thru a lot in the past three years, and moving forward is not so easy, but I know I must do it, and I am doing the best I can with what I have for now. Time takes it's toll on everyone and everything. Bitterness is what makes life harder to deal with, weather it is from you or someone else, bitterness is not attractive in any form.
I said some harsh things in my blog of March 11th, and those words ring true regardless. They are not words of bitterness, but rather words of pain and heartache. This time I would like to go the other end of the spectrum and say a few words about the positive.
I love people. They are intriguing, and they trigger things in you that you never thought you had. A smile is more than just a smile. I love ot make people smile, laugh and be jovial and cheery. This isn't always possible, but I do try everyday, and it's time for me to get back on that train and enjoy what I have. I might not have much, I may not be the best person in the world either, fact is, I know I'm not. But that doesn't stop me from trying to accomplish what I want in my life. Everyone should want things, but the ones who want for others are the better of us right? Take care of yourself first and think of others in the meantime. Balancing yourself and your thoughts to consider others, is a gift not everyone has. I consider myself lucky to have this gift, I wish more people had this and I try to share it with everyone when given the chance. Fortunately, I have this chance right now, here in this blog, and in SL.
I am in love. I never thought I would feel that again. It's been a while and I was reserved to the cauldrons of thinking it was never going to happen again, it was self induced. Something happened to me, someone came along and flipped me over , twisted my head and made me notice them. They rose above the crowd and said notice me, help me, I want you in my life. Show me, I am worth loving. You know who you are and I love you more than you will ever know. It means a lot to me to have someone in my life I consider to be so special, that it's hard for me to be me without fumbling my words, trembling with overwhelming joy. This tells you it's real, and the fact that I get goose bumps when your around means there is a real connection there, a connection that ascends beyond the pixels of that we call Second Life. Even if it isn't real life, I still get real emotionally driven feelings and I am compelled to honor this connection. I am duly sworn to a relationship I want so bad, yet at the same time, I feel this person wants too. Not only re the words he speaks special to me, the things he does mean a lot too. Yes there is another factor that is being considered, but yet something tells me things will work out for all those involved. No one is perfect, and i am not in search of perfection, but I think I have found the closest thing to it that I will ever find.
While respecting the privacy of my special man, I want to let them know every chance I get, what they mean to me. I love the saying from the unknown author... find 5 things to say to the one you love everyday, and let them know they truly are special to you. If you do this, you will develope one of the greatest bonds you will ever know. I may not do this everyday, but my intentions are there, and I make an honest and good faith effort to do so. For I am only human, we were born with flaws, it is up to us to find those flaws and work around them, and through them the best we can.
I think I've said enough for today, my thoughts are free just as yours are, and I feel so honored and humbled to be able to express myself without a thumb on my head, or a tack on my chair. I will never be a person to control another, that is not my place, all I ask is respect and understanding for who and what I am.